I'm sure that for all of you younger generation folks, you haven't really had the time to sit and ponder about the above question. Of course, as we age and have more time on our hands, I believe that subject comes to mind more often than not. I suppose that for many people, we have regrets, failures, happy times and we've had love in our lives. I know that's true for me.
Maybe because I live with chronic illness, which dictates a sedentary lifestyle for me, I think about these things more, but I kind of doubt it. When our lives are full, time moves along so fast, that we usually don't take much time to think about such things. I think about them often.
One thing I do know for sure is this: God has been with me through every single moment of every day of my life. I can sit here and look back through the years and although I didn't realize it at the time, I can see God's presence there. I often wonder if He's tired from all the times He's carried me.
Every living human being has tough times and good ones, too. Thank goodness, for most of us, the good ones far outweigh the bad ones. Many people choose not to see God's intervention during those bad times. Why? If you made it through and came out on the other side, a better person, then why can't you see God's hand in your life? He doesn't make those bad things happen, but He does permit them to occur. Why? I don't really know, but I suppose it's so that we see where we made bad choices.
Many years ago, I went through a trying time, after being told that I would never be able to have a child of my own. I was terribly crushed, to say the least. As a teenager, my greatest wish was to have children and try to be as good a Mom as my Mother was to me and my siblings. After I was told this horrible news, I cried myself to sleep for many night.
God had other plans for me. I did get pregnant, not just once, but four times. I lost the second baby early on during the pregnancy. How could I not see God's presence in my life when I received His special graces by letting me carry three beautiful daughters to full term. They were all healthy babies and I couldn't thank God enough for them.
So, lets see: One terrible disappointment and then three blessings! So far I'm ahead.
Then some time later on, my husband decided to cheat on me and left me and his daughters for another woman, after twenty one years of marriage. Again, I was devastated. My biggest problem at that time was money, or shall I say, a lack of money! Yes, he paid child support, but if I disagreed with him in any way, he'd wouldn't pay me that week. On top of that, I had the IRS on my door step hounding me for back income taxes, which were my husbands, not mine. Through the grace of God, Congressman Goodling managed to get the IRS off my back and release my bank accounts and paycheck, but the IRS still sat on my door step. I finally took the money from my Dad, who wanted to give it to me right in the beginning, and paid them off. Was it fair that my Dad had to pay for my ex-husband's taxes? NO, it was not! As time went on, I grew very independent and God directed me along the right path. I was able to pull myself out of the anxiety I was suffering through and begin to live my life once again. My daughters were growing into fine young women, and I was very proud of them. I had parents who loved and supported me always and many supporting friends; as well as, a great boss who helped give me moral support.
So, let's see: Two terrible disappointments and then many blessings! I'm still ahead.
Later on I finally met and married the love of my life. Oh, we had some problems to iron out, but we loved one another and wanted to be together. So, we made it work out. We married and yes, we've had our ups and downs. What married couple doesn't? But we are committed to one another and determined to stay together until death! Then, over ten years ago, my heart became very ill. Heart problems wasn't new to me, as I was born with a heart deformity and had issues on and off since I was about six years old. When I was in my late thirties, it became worse, but not to the degree it changed ten years ago. Although I have been pacer dependent for the past twenty two years. (That means the pacemaker is keeping my heart beating fast enough to keep me alive. I can't live without a pacemaker.) At that time my heart developed some other problems and I was told (a year later) that the doctor thought I'd die in the hospital. But, God still had plans for me. He has things He needs me to do before He takes me home. So, here we are ten and one half years later, and I'm still waking up every day to do whatever God's will is for me.
Let's see: A lot of pain and disappointments, but I'm still alive, thanks to the Lord!
So, take a few minutes to sit down and go back over your life. Did you take advantage of the bad times by coming out of them a better person, in one way or another? If not, you still have time to change. Ask God's help and you will see how your life can change for the better. Feeling sorry for ones self, doesn't work, ever. I know that God still has things for me to do in this life. Perhaps today's blog is just one of them. Have a great day and be safe. Thank God for all the many blessings you do have and forget about those you don't.
Susan
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